Five ways to prove you’re the loose cannon in your office
EVERY office has one: a maverick, a loose cannon, a gunslinger. But how can you show you’re the true iconoclast in your workplace?
Drink coffee at 5.30pm
Who drinks coffee after lunchtime? This wild card. As everyone else goes home you’re jacking your bloodstream with a fresh dose of caffeine because if these emails are going to get finished, that cup is getting poured.
Toys on the desk
The desk is a business space, a place for computers and phones not miniature figurines of anime characters. But for wild nonconformists like yourself, there’s no line between work and play. Ironic figurines, figurines you say are ironic but aren’t really, the lot. Mind-blowing.
Feet on the desk
Want to show how relaxed and informal you can be around the office? Push your chair back and place your feet on the desk, like a boss. Don’t do it if the boss is around.
Go trouserless on Casual Friday
Most sheeple just wear their relaxed chilling clothes on Casual Friday. Not you. You don’t even wear trousers, and nobody can stop you. ‘It’s what I wear when I work from home,’ you breezily justify to HR when they call you in for a verbal warning.
Carry a loaded handgun
Don’t mention it to anyone, just let them see it on your hip. Let the rumour spread that you shot a rival for taking credit for your presentation. Let it be assumed that you’ll gun anyone down without even thinking about it, and that’s how you get such great performance reviews.